A Slight Change in Course

I have spent a significant part of my life reflecting on calling, faith, work, and how that all comes together from a research lens (with a lot more interest yet to research and write about!). Perhaps it’s a bit like a doctor not taking their wellness advice, or a lawyer not having a will, but it’s hard in some ways to shift from research to practice when you have the opportunity. So admittedly, I’ve spent the last two years or so knowing it was time to answer some big picture questions, but often found myself distracted by shiny new projects to finish or fun new structure to sort, staff, and manage. Let a theorist return to practice and she may just have too much fun! (This makes me sound super cool and exciting, I know…)

Eventually all the right pieces shifted at all the right moments, allowing me to spend the last 18 months or so in serious discernment about what’s next for me, what my calling is, and where that leads. Getting to ask questions like that – to even consider calling in how I pay my bills – is an immense privilege and it matters to say that. I know that’s not the case for everyone or for every phase of life, and I remain incredibly grateful for the chance to do that.

My boss and my university invested in me significantly by encouraging me to apply to the CCCU Leadership Development Institute and sending me when I was accepted. There are a handful of top things I’ve done for my career and professional development and this is one of them. Going to Seattle last summer and then observing at another university this past fall helped clarify my options and my right next steps.

It’s easy to look back now and see that part of me knew for a while I’d eventually return to teaching, but I was still struggling on the timing. Having your boss named the next president of a different university helps you move from “one day” to “oh…time to decide some things” a little more quickly! I’m grateful I’d started to do some of the harder work of discernment before this change for my boss, but really timing pushes us when we need it to sometimes, as well!

Later this summer, I head back to the classroom full time. Gratefully, I’ve never fully stepped away from teaching so I’m not out of practice! In fact, other than my standard break in our fall 2 term, I can only recall maybe two terms I was not teaching over the last decade. I like doing so much, I have kept doing it even when you might think I really didn’t have the time. I am delighted for this shift back to my primary vocational calling and to be able to do that at my university as we continue to do so many good, worthwhile things.

But notice what I said above! My primary vocational calling. A part of my struggle the last several years has been my thinking about my current role: “I am good at this, so is this my calling now and forever?” and “God’s people asked me to do this work, does this mean I never return to full time teaching?” And the truth is I don’t know that most of us have one calling or one forever calling. Maybe some do. Frankly, I get tired of the intense focus on “seasons” in a lot of Christian-speak, and yet…for everything there is a season, etc.

I am confident this is the right season time for me to return to teaching and confident, I answered a temporary call at the right time for me and for my university. The experience of administration the last four years – starting with a global pandemic and task forces, and ending as AVP Academic Affairs – has been one of the best choices I’ve made. It was the right choice to say “yes” to an opportunity I didn’t imagine for myself, and it is the right choice to shift back to teaching, writing, and research now. And less meetings…so many less meetings!

I answered a call within a call four-ish years ago and finding my way back to the classroom full time is just another right decision at the right time. We never know what the future holds really, and I believe it is wise to remain open to saying “yes” when others identify a good fit for us or see different ways our giftedness might be helpful (for me, especially vital in the context of my faith). But for now, I’m spending the next few months preparing a team for change and myself for a different focus. I’m excited. And maybe a little nervous. But I think being nerv-cited is good for us.

I recognize I am doing all of this with the incredible privilege of being able to honor my calling and integrate my faith and work in ways so meaningful to me as a human and a researcher. That’s utterly baffling to me in some ways and I never take that as a given.
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I posted a version of this on my LinkedIn page to share with my network. This feels a little long and meandering in some ways, but I hope if anyone else is in a period of “what’s next” it might help to see someone else’s winding path through the process! Remember that saying yes to using your gifts in ways you didn’t expect can be a really good stop along the way.