Lessons in Self Care from a Puppy
Olive Louise goes to daycare and reminds me of some important things
Yesterday was a big day for our family as our puppy, Olive Louise, was finally allowed to go to daycare for the first time after being fully vaccinated (we believe in science for the dogs and the humans around here!).
My husband and I had planned to attend a member preview day of the newest exhibit at the High Museum yesterday at lunch, so rather than our usual half day of daycare, we dropped the dogs off for a full day of fun.
I had no doubt our girl would do well, but gratefully received regular updates from the owner of daycare (also one of Archer’s many BFFs). As expected after about five minutes of uncertainty and some reassurance from Archer, Olive took full advantage of the experience and sat down only about once the rest of the day.
That’s a long day of playing for a tiny girl and as you might imagine, she came home exhausted.
Not to worry - she is fully rejuvenated and back to her energetic self this morning as of 6:15 a.m. when she reminded me she needed some attention! But as I thought about her day yesterday and her recovery from being worn out, I think there are a few lessons for us humans about self care. (More on self care here.)
Recognize the Need to Rest
Puppies do not have the ability to think they might be judged for resting or taking a break when tired. If they’re tired, they sleep. There’s no puppy equivalent of a human’s “I have too much to do to rest.” Obviously, puppies in a loving home have far fewer responsibilities than their humans. But they also respond to the biological cue of exhaustion with “time to nap.” We barely got Olive home last night before she crashed for a very long nap.
Gentle Reminders from Those Who Love Us
Olive may well have slept until this morning had we not nudged her awake to eat (usually her favorite activity!) and to go outside. She was taking care of being tired, but she still heard the gentle reminders of her humans to eat and go out. She did those things but ignored her brother’s nudges to play. When we are exhausted, we are wise to take care of our basic needs and prioritize rest. The other stuff can wait.
Facing a New Day Well
Because Olive rested, she woke up this morning her usual, cheerful self ready to gooooo as is her custom. The rest of the household is not quite as excited about mornings as Olive, but be assured that does not deter her or squelch any of her enthusiasm. Had she kept playing when we got home last night or resisted resting, she would likely be a grouchy mess having trouble keeping her eyes open this morning. Instead, she’s back to her best self.
Practical Suggestions
Perhaps this analogy is a bit silly, but frankly the excuses I hear from people about running themselves into the ground for a job or their kids or spouses or whatever…also a little silly when you hear it. In my many decades around ministry and faith-based nonprofits the idea that Jesus wants you burnt out comes up (even officially in my dissertation research). This is not true and is not actually what Jesus modeled…
Of course, must of us need our jobs and desire to care well for those we love. There is nothing wrong with that! But we also need to be able to be capable of doing these things well and that requires listening to our own bodies, prioritizing rest and renewal, and finding a path towards facing the new day with at least a little of the enthusiasm Olive does.
I recognize there is privilege in having the resources both professionally and personally to make a lot of this work and not naive enough to think this works for all or that you’ll like all my suggestions. But I have been reading about work-life “balance” for decades. And I’ve been conducting research and reading the literature for many years. I was going to say I’m not an expert, but I am! (Take that imposter syndrome.) That said, I’m not an expert on you, your life, your priorities, etc. But here are some things I do to prioritize my own rest and renewal, your benefit may vary.
Prioritize rest and renewal - if you think you’re great on four hours of sleep, you’re not. Find space to loaf and rest. Find things that renew you - attending your faith service, hiking in the woods with only nature as background noise, etc.
Make space for gratitude - journaling three things I’m grateful at the end of each day helps reset my stress and frustrations and reminds me I have so much to be thankful for no matter the day.
Be intentional about your work and life boundaries (yes there is privilege here and often seniority/status, but find the boundaries you can afford to set and honor them).
Move your body within your own abilities and priorities. I once wanted to run a marathon, instead I severely damaged my back (unrelated injury but will never be a runner). I do not like most gym vibes and I’m not going to 6 a.m. hot yoga. But I try to find time each day for some sort of joyful movement that works for me - biking, yoga, walking, walking dogs, etc.
Find an outlet for the you that is not work. We are whole people who need to honor ourselves aside from our work for a paycheck (read that sentence a second time if you’re in vocational ministry). For me this includes lots of needle arts like embroidery, quilting, and sewing. I might occasionally think about cool it would be to own a craft shop (very cool, very hard work) but otherwise I have no interest in making money off my crafts. This allows my creative pursuits to be something I enjoy doing for me and for gifting. This is not a thing I have to get done by X date, sell for X dollars, and do bigger and better the next time.
Listen to the people who love you when they say you’re fraying a bit around the edges. My spouse is always able to see me veering towards burn out before I can see it (or admit he’s right!). The gentle nudge to rest, take a break, step away from email, etc. from those who love us and care about our wellbeing matters. We are wise to hear it and find ways to honor their care for us!
If all else fails, get a puppy - they force you to rest, remind you of meal times, are always excited to face the day, and are very cuddly nap buddies!